So everyone under 30 is now officially lame. That’s right. It’s no longer cool to be under 30. Everyone 30 and over is officially 3 points more awesome than everyone under 30. ^_^

I was going to go out horseback riding and having a super fancy dinner, but there was a massive heatwave going on, so I decided to stay inside. (My hatred of getting too hot is well recorded.) I opened the door to go down to the grocery store, and it was so hot in the hallway of my apartment building that I closed the door and called the grocery to deliver everything. (Interesting fact about China: Absolutely everything will be delivered. I don’t like to do it for small orders, but I have friends who will call the grocery to have a single candy bar delivered.)

But Nick is tough and manly and walked across the street to buy some champagne. (He was soaked through by the time he got back, and it really is right across the street.)

I ordered an apple pie from http://www.piehouse.com.cn, and it was genuinely the best apple pie I’ve ever had. And I’ve had a *lot* of apple pies. (My dad hates cake. Likes pie.) One of the owners delivered it, and it was still warm when it showed up. It was really, genuinely amazing. (If it had been less awesome, we probably would have some left.)

Last Chinese lesson my coworker didn’t come with me, so I decided to use the time to grill the teacher about different words for different kinds of clothes. (She grilled me back, because apparently “boot-cut” and “skinny jeans” are not part of the standard English lesson. She was a bit flummoxed by “spaghetti strap.”) Next time he cuts class, I’m going to ask about types of fabrics. (I suspect that will be difficult. I could ask a native English speaker for an acetate twill and get a blank look.)

Blarghl. I want to get paid already. (My first check was v. light due to the way the months are chopped up.) I’m feeling weirdly, painfully shoppy.

I want to buy so much fabric it’s ridiculous. I bought 20 yards and accidentally had it sent to my mom’s house in Chicago. (I’ll go pick it up in October.) In the meantime, clearly that means I must buy another 20 yards to be here. (Even though I have more important things to be doing than sewing right now.) But for some reason I am in a serious mood to go shopping right now. (Wait no, not shopping. Buying.) Also shoes, and clothes, and like 4 scarves, and purses, and part of me kinda sorta wants to buy the Chanel temporary tattoos. (I’d just copy them onto tattoo paper on my printer so I could wear them without using them up.)

They look like this:

I’m bored and waiting for pages. This always happens when I get bored waiting for pages.

Sample sales.

Seriously. I really miss NY’s sample sales. They were fantastic. You can wear all ridiculous designer clothing all the time, because if you hit the right sale Halston is cheaper than H&M. Sigh.

At Amsterdam Fashion Week, Iris van Herpen showed plasticized water cascading off her outfits. “Not everything has to be wearable,” she said.

From Style.com

Huh … it appears I am able to read and even post to LJ today. Who knew? (These things keep changing. When I first got here, all blogspot addresses were blocked, but just by URL so I could still see it by going to www.ambiencechaser.com. Then a week later, that was blocked too. I haven’t been able to get at Facebook or LJ, but now I appear able to see LJ again. Neat! ^_^)

So, I’m in China. I’ve been here a month now. It’s extraordinarily hot. I started Chinese lessons last week. I got in a cab and asked to go to work, and instead he took me to the bar district at 9am. Clearly, I found a magic, mind-reading cab driver. (and did not, in fact, mispronounce the name of my office building).

Also, my classmate/coworker and I went to lunch and he ordered a glass of water, and the waitress brought him a bulb of raw garlic. (Yay, Chinese. (x_x))

The food is really, really good. Well, the Chinese food is. And it’s freakishly cheap. My coworker and I got out for $2.50 apiece at lunch, including beers.

Work is cool. I made one of my writers get a snake massage. (The headline was “Snakes on a Pain”).

What is going on in the US?